Pine cones

Pine cones scattered across the snow
By the wounded evergreen
In hopes of Spring Eternal
A continuation of her – offspring

She has received a “trim” of her needles
From Mother Nature
Unprovoked
Covering the melting snow
As if it were on purpose

Where once was crisp and white
Now dirty with OUR stuff
Among the fallen needles,
Pine cones – seeds forthcoming
We find hope

Awareness

A ball of clay
Lovingly scooped from
The Great Mother Earth
Formed into a perfect vessel
Divinity

Encased in a crust
By conditioning
By society’s norms
By their truths

A usable vessel
With years of great Blessings
With years of great use
Loving
Being Loved
Healing
Being Healed

Seen by herself
And others
As the outward appearance
As the titles she carries
Illusion

Empty and Filled
Over and over
Learning
Understanding
Grasping
What is her purpose?

Slowly she notices
The cracks in the surfaces
Is there reason to worry?
No, it’s just expansion
Evolving

Those dried and hardened pieces
Kilned into place so long ago
Begin to fall off
Sometimes it is painful
Sometimes it is terrifying
Sometimes it is wonderful
Always … it is healing
As the soft, supple clay begins to show up once more

She becomes aware
She becomes fluid
Able to move with the
Flow of any wind that comes her way

Aware of the tiniest bird
But not just the bird
His wing
His eye
His movement
His voice
His presence
His apparent awareness of me
His energy
Noticing our differences
Yet, realizing
We are the same
Purely because we exist
Part of the whole
Divinity
Awareness
Being

For another Old Friend

I lost another old friend last week. She was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer and Bone Cancer in the Spring of 2009. She was apparently doing well until the beginning of this month. By time she shared with the community what was going on she was diagnosed as "terminal." She passed away about a week after I found out she was sick. She touched my life in many ways when we were between the ages of 18-25 or so. I dedicate the following poem to her. An angel now watching over me.

Saying “Good-bye” to Kathy

Such a special person
From years ago
Slipped out of my life
Unseen

The memories come flooding back
Of all our times together
First apartment, lasagna making,
Car stuck on a snow bank –
Desperate grocery shopping trip

Support beyond measure
Hand-holding through the pain
Of losing my mother at an age
Way to young

And now, her children
Sadly, experience that same pain
I only hope they have friends
As dear as she was to me

A friend who was able to
Keep the calm among the storms
Reminding me that I’ll be ok
She is with me, each step of the way

And now some precious words she shared
With a friend as she lay dying:

'Our hearts are so connected
that no matter
where we are in time and space,
we'll never be apart.'

For an Old-Friend

Between the ages of 18-21 I had a wonderful opportunity to belong to a church group called, "Young Adults." During this time my mother was dying of cancer. This group was a very strong support for me. I found great comfort during out get togethers. I received word a few weeks ago that one of those members has been diagnosed with cancer. The words from their Caring Bridge Website follow: Ed was diagnosed in September with pancreatic cancer which has spread to his liver and lungs. We've been told there is no cure for this type of cancer. They are a family with strong faith and are open to miracles. As I read of their struggles I remember the pain and suffering my mother and sister endured during their illnesses. I pray for Peace for Ed and his family during this difficult time. I know they find great comfort in a loving God. Today I dedicate this poem to them and ask that you join me in prayer.

The Moments

In times of trials
In times of pain
Remember to grasp
The moments
In Between

Those short tiny moments
Are there for our respite
To help us find Peace
Among the chaos

An Explanation ... before and after

(Wednesday is my day "off" from "work." Typically I spend this day balancing errands and fun things for me.)

Wednesdays

Waking up quite groggily
From late night Tuesday talks
Splendid sharing times remembered
Welcomed morning coffee

Kids to school
The day is mine
Long hot bath
While I unwind

Putting away laundry
Topless – if I want
The house is empty
Except for the dog
And …
He doesn’t seem to mind

Cleaning, clearing, owning
This space, called “mine”
With no interruptions
From the offspring or …
The Spouse

Listening to iTunes
Rock to Meditation
So many different genres
Musical Whiplash
For Most
Expressing this Eclectic Me

U
. . . N
. . . . . . . T
. . . . . . . . . . I
. . . . . . . . . . . . .L

He calls
“I forgot my flash drive and can’t get by without it.”

It was pleasant while it lasted.
I pause for a 30-minute rescue
After lecturing about:
The Importance of
Being responsible for your own things!!!!

Then I’m back
On Track
In My Space
Doing My thing
Without interruption
This time I proclaim it so!

(I meet him outside the college. He's eating some kind of icecream bar coated in rich dark chocolate. He has pulled up in his wheelchair to to window of my van. I say, "I'll trade you." To which he says, "huh?" I say, "I've got something you need. I'll trade you." To which he says, "Mommmmm." To which I say, "At least give me a bite." He has to. Does he have a choice?)

Healing Tears

Bloodied and tattered
I struggle to my feet
Standing firm in
My Beliefs

The salt from my tears
Stings the fresh wounds
Cleansing and healing me
Magically

I Can Hear Your Whispers

I hear the conversations
The inquiries about me
Though I do not hear the other side
Just the “how is she’s”

I know this goes on
I am not naive
Though people think I am
Pretending it’s not happening
All to “help” me

I will share when I am ready
If it pertains to you
You’ll hear

If not, just hold me gently
Cover me in Light
As I begin to wonder
Is this worth the fight?

Trying to help someone
Understand what they cannot
Is a task that’s never finished
It “costs” me quite a lot

It’s my choice to seek completion
Or to just leave this undone
As my Life moves on in circles
Underneath the sun